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The Diary Of A Pensionless Pensioner

The Diary Of A Pensionless Pensioner

The Descent Into Hell of just one of the millions of The 1950s Women who've been denied their pensions, without due notice, for SIX YEARS by UK government under David Cameron and George Osborne

Of WRAGS and Wretches

You'll need MUCH Alcohol to get through this one, even more so than 'Heartbreak' for these Murderous, Traitorous Wretches are causing my ramblings to become ever longer....

So, I had The Assessment, see previous blog; 'Assessments, Assassins & Abusers' (scroll down for other chapters too, starting with 'Heartbreak') via this link:: http://lizziecornish.over-blog.com/

Yes, I was *assessed*, from the tip of my toes to the top of my head and every point inbetween, emotionally, and a little bit of The Physical too....and despite crying enough puddles for not just Alice to drown in, but the entire guestlist of The Mad Hatter's Tea Party too, it seems The Assessors decided I will be Fit For Work...at some point in the future...

And thus, I found myself being thrown a WRAG, not a rag to wipe away my tears, you understand, nor a rag to wear, to cover over some of my clothes which are now looking even older than my angst-filled face, a face upon which Wrinkles Now Throw Themselves With Glee, daily, due to the stress of my being A Pensionless Pensioner, along with MILLIONS of other women born in the 1950s/60s, our pensions denied us now for 6/7 YEARS.

Oh no......

No, no, no, the NEXT CHAPTER of the Disintegration of My Dignity lay inside The Work Related Activity Group, commonly known as WRAG, a group set up to apparently HELP me, (!) at 61 1/2 years old, (!!) to focus on finding work in the future, despite me not being able to even focus on who the hell I am any longer.....

Here's what happened:

I was sent a letter, headed...

'Helping You Prepare For Work In The Future'....and my heart sank...

"We've set up a meeting for you with your work coach. Together you'll talk about options that will help you prepare for work in the future.  Your work coach will offer you help and support, even if you aren't able to return to work straight away. Your meeting will last up to an hour..."

The next day I was told, in yet another letter, that I'd be given more money each week, and thus the truly awful, truly traumatic days of struggling to live on £10.33 a day for everything in life were being softened, by being given an extra £30 a week ESA...the £30 which The Barbaric Tory Bastards are, of course, now planning on doing away with next year for all new claims, (and old ones?) thus sentencing all to living on £73.10 a week for all in life.  (PFFFFFFFFFT!  I do NOT have ANY fecking swear words STRONG enough for these Inhuman Humans!)

The letter also told me I could put in for a Mandatory Reconsideration of this decision. Thus, I rang to ask them for a copy of my Assessment Medical Report.

To get this extra money, I had to jump through hoops..and if I did not, then I'd be sanctioned.

Always, they throw The Threats at you, just to ensure you can never relax, I guess....never stop worrying.

Thus, a few days later, with heavy heart, I once more found myself in the Job Centre, tears just an anxiety away, tears of anger, as well as exhaustion and depression...

I was called over, sat down...to be told my work coach was poorly...and thus, the lassie in front of me was taking over. 

She was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

I wasn't.

She looked at my file, told me that today's meeting was really just for me to be told that I'd be getting an appointment sent to me by 'Working Links', (a private company) in regard to me preparing for work in the future.

I stared at her, as yet again, I'd had to struggle to find the £5 for the bus fare to town and hadn't slept the previous night, through worrying about this appointment.

"You mean, that's all this is about?  Could I not have had this told to me over the phone?"

"Well..er...it's the way we do it....Anyway, they're very nice and they'll help you prepare for work.."

I explained to her that I'm almost a raving looney now, up to my ears and down to my toenails with stress and depression, first from having my pension STOLEN for SIX FECKING YEARS, and now, being thrown into Staleg 17 by Iain Duncan-Smith, The Odious, Evil One (A Thousand Spits Be Upon Him!) who, I can only imagine, must now be Utterly ORGASMIC about the deep trauma he's causing to so many!

She looked a little worried, but battled on, still bushy-tailed, despite this....

She told me they'd look at what kind of skills I had...

"I'm 61 1/2 years old..." I started to say......

"You don't look your age at all!" she said, cheerily..."I LOVE your sparkly eyeshadow!"

I explained I looked VERY old inside and I put it on to remind myself I'm still alive...to remind myself that somewhere, *somewhere* deep down inside me, still lurks the merest Hint of Sparkle, albeit it is now emphysemic, struggling desperately to breathe, to sparkle....

I could see she thought I was most odd, but I was past caring by this time.....

She then told me she could see I'd been a Carer....and perhaps they'd look at this...and get me back into.....................................................

I burst into tears....

She actually went quiet, thank god....

"I CANNOT care for anyone else! I've done that for 18 YEARS of my life and now, I need someone to care for me!  WHY can you not SEE this?!  WHY can you not see that I'm OLD? Can you see my fingers, swollen?  Do you know my diabetes is off the planet?  Do you understand what this is doing to me, to so many others of my generation, so many women being torn apart like this?!  Do you know I was told to just write the last 10 years of my working life down on my CV?  This was basically to HIDE how OLD I am!  No-one wants to employ you when you're in your 60s, let alone when you're not well!"

The Tears were flowing unabated by now...and finally, the penny was starting to drop with her....

She told me the money for my bus fare would be in my bank account by this afternoon..and we ended the meeting there and then....

A few days passed...

I'd still not had the Assessment Report, so I rang yet again to ask about this...had to listen to Fecking Vivaldi all over again...Oh god, how I hate his beautiful music now, for I've become like Pavlov's Dogs, the merest hint of Vivaldi throwing me into anxiety and tears, into dribbling insanity!

A few more days passed....before The Phone rang...

It was Working Links....a lassie...

"Hi, Lizzie, I'm from Working Links. We're here to help you find work in the future, just wanted to make an appointment with you to come and see us in town...Can you tell me a little about yourself?..."

I burst into tears....

Out it all came, every damned chapter of this blog, with bells on, to the point of mild hysteria and bloody great big sobs, at yet again having to JUSTIFY myself, in my 60s, that I was not making any of this up, not being a scrounger, being viewed with suspicion, constant bloody constant, bloody, bloody, BLOODY QUESTIONS and Fecking FORMS!

She told me she'd send the appointment to me...and checked to see if I was suicidal, should she call someone for me?  I said that no, I just needed to be left alone, to not be questioned all the time because I'm deeply depressed and the slightest thing tips me overboard.....

She scuttled off.......sent the appointment......

I was then rung by one of the 'Mental Health Team' from Working Links, who'd been alerted that I was obviously Loopy Lizzie and legally, they'd best cover themselves....

I didn't NEED a 'Mental Health Team' before all this CRAZY SHIT started up! 

I SHOULD be, nay, I AM, A PENSIONER. albeit a PENSIONLESS one due to The Fecking Bastard Osborne sniffing his way into EMBEZZLING our pensions!

I SHOULD be in the now SECOND YEAR of my FECKING RETIREMENT and NOT spilling my heart out on the internet, in GRIEF over my Imploded, Lost Life!

I SHOULD BE feeling SAFE, for the REST of my life, doing Pensionery Things, like bussing myself round the country on my free bus pass, like putting my heating on because I know I can afford to stay warm...like going to see friends and family before we all die out...or falling in love and running away with An Aged Poldark...

But no, The Fecking, Fooking, FOUL and FESTERING Tories decided differently and whilst they continue their Elite Lives, they throw us into HELL not giving the teensiest shit about us!

Anyways Ups, we went through the WHOLE thing again, but more slowly, more gently...He got to learn all about The 1950s/60s women, about this evil govt, what they're doing to so many of my people, the sick, disabled, unemployed, dying....and he said he'd arrange it that I would be kept in contact with by phone and that I'd not have to go down to town....

The following week, another young man rang, again from town, from Working Links...asked me how I was, explained about what they intended to do, to help me....note, HELP me, whilst they were driving me to distraction and ever-increasing anxiety...

I burst into tears...

He said immediately "OH! I have a meeting I'd forgotten about. I have to go to it NOW, Lizzie, so I'll get back to you later this evening...." and he went....

WTF? !!!!

Of course, he didn't really have a meeting, I'm sure, he just panicked at my emotions....

He rang back 15/20 minutes later, telling me it was a very quick meeting, (no shit, Sherlock!)....but being more in control this time, as he'd obviously had a word with The One Who Knows How To Deal Wth Loopy Lizzies...

So, out came the whole story again..and he then told me his Mum was 61, she too wasn't well, worn out, had a cleaning job...I could feel the wheels of his mind suddenly seeing his Mum in a Whole New Light as I explained to him how we'd never been told until just a few years ago, how some STILL are unaware they'll have to work 6/7 years extra, or try to survive on Benefits, going through this hell themselves....

He told me he'd ring me again next week......

I put the phone down and wept.......

The Assessment Report STILL hadn't arrived, so, Vivaldi and I did battle yet again on the DWP phone line....

I was panic-stricken that I'd run out of time to put in this Mandatory Reassessment (what a fooking mouthful of nonsense that title is) in...and so, I began writing my letter without the report.

I wrote the letter of my life.  I told them that if their plan had been to break me apart, then they'd WON, I put my hands up, I was broken, well done to them...they'd finally done it..score another WIN for the DWP and Duncan Smith's Regime...I then asked if they knew what Gross Negligence Manslaughter was, because I was going to leave a letter explaining the part the DWP & The Tories have had in my death, should it come 'all of a sudden' due to the shocking stress so many of us are being put through now..let alone we older folks too, for men in their early 60s are going through this Barbaric Cruelty now as well.

I sent the letter off....almost past caring...deeply depressed.....

Around two days later THIRTY ONE PAGES of my ESA Assessment were finally sent to me. 

THIRTY ONE FECKING PAGES!!!!!

But WAIT....for, Lo and Behold, the NEXT day, ANOTHER THIRTY ONE FECKING PAGES arrived, as The Three Phone Calls had obviously got crossed somewhere, and thus TWO copies had been sent to me and yes, half a TREE was now sitting on my desk!

SIXTY TWO FECKING, FOCKING, FICKING PAGES 'All About Me'...what a WASTE of Time, Energy and MONEY!

Geezus, this is INSANITY, it is TRUE INSANITY! 

How much is all this costing????

The next week, he rang again, this time he was different, very calm, very quiet....I think  his Mum had had a word with him...He was very quick  on the phone, asked me if I'd put in for a Mandatory Reconsideration of the decision to put me into the Work Related Activity Group...and I explained I had but had not heard anything yet.  He was literally on the phone for minutes this time...and told me he'd ring again the following week, then at two weekly intervals...sigh.

However, before he was due to ring again, I got Another Letter...and THIS one told me that they had reconsidered their first decision about me and were now taking me OUT of WRAG and putting me into The Support Group for 18 months.

He hasn't rung since.

This means I am to be FINALLY left alone, I assume, and be given more money too, taking me to £125.00 a week, which is, of course, nearly at my pension level, (except, it's NOT as my pension would be around £165 (so I've been told by DWP, but hey, who can trust 'em any longer), with Pension Credit on top of this, as I have no other income, so every week the govt STEALS around £60 (?) or more from me, which is around £240/£300 a MONTH and is money I so, SO BADLY NEED to LIVE!) but apparently, there's NO MONEY for my PENSION, but there IS some) money elsewhere, but they want to break you apart before they give it to you...

There is NO free bus pass though, (and it costs £4.95 to get to town and back, so I barely ever go out!) nor is there guaranteed help with heating each Winter, nor is there any pension credit to top up pensions. (Update on 31/12) I've applied for a 'Warm Home Discount' of £140, (months ago) but still have not heard if this is to be granted to me, thus, I do not want to put heating on as I do not know if I can afford to.

Meanwhile, as so many of us freeze through yet another Winter, millionaires and billionaire pensioners get their free bus passes and £hundreds towards their Winter heating costs...yes, folks who are rich enough to BURN MONEY to keep themselves warm get HELP, whilst we 1950s women, despite having over 40 years of National Insurance, are left to struggle on, being assessed, watched, weighed and measured in The System, viewed with constant suspicion by that System and viewed as Bloody Scroungers by many of the public!

AND, instead of feeling this money is my PENSION, thus I am ENTITLED to it, I'm left feeling that I'm viewed as a Revolting Scrounger, hated by many, broken apart by The System of Evil and open game for Hateful People to throw vile insults at me...

So, for 18 months, I MIGHT be now left in PEACE, with money enough to live simply on, removing so much of the terrible anxiety and horror I've been forced to endure this year...

The BAD side is, that in 18 months time, I'll be 63 and they'll start it all over again, as I will be RE-assessed and put through this entire MADNESS once more....but at SIXTY THREE YEARS OLD this time, thus their Orgasmic Joy over Hurting & Harming us will be DOUBLED, no doubt!

And of course, by that time, any re-assessment may be viewed as a new claim, thus, I'll be on less money with another THREE YEARS to go before they give me the pension I've paid for, or rather, that those behind me have paid for, just as I and all others my age, willingly and happily paid for those ahead of us....

BUT, mayhap Scottie will have beamed me up by then, thus sparing me anymore anxiety and cruelty....

TRAGIC, isn't it, to almost wish yourself dead so you can't be sent back to Staleg 17 again..

Yes, Cruel Britannia, for real...

I can't explain to you how much I hate The Tories now, I truly can't. I loathe them with every breath in my body for what they have done to so many....

Please remember, that there are so many wonderful people out there who are being condemned to STILL having to live on £10.33 a day for all, or even less.  Many are being sanctioned, some left with NO MONEY at all. My heart bleeds for them, it truly does.

This week, Ken Loach's wonderful film 'I, Daniel Blake' has opened, to brilliant reviews, a film about what is going on inside our Welfare State now, the cruelty, the torture, the MANSLAUGHTER, being done in full knowledge of the pain being caused.   Every part of Ken's film is correct.  He's been accused by some of the Right Wing press of making it up, embellishing it. He embellishes NOTHING, for it truly IS THIS BAD now, and those who have done this MUST be punished for what they've WILLINGLY done/are still doing. There are NO EXCUSES for this vile cruelty. None.

My once beloved country is in the grip of the most TERRIFYING PSYCHOPATHS now, people who truly don't care what they do to others, who loathe anyone who is not rich, and elite, as they consider themselves to be.

They literally do NOT care if we live, or die. 

They are Disassociated, Disconnected and Utterly Disinterested.

The People HAVE to rise up, to put this right.  Only WE can do this...and we HAVE to if we want to bring back Love and Compassion into the now Ice-Cold Heart of this nation.

Every single one of these MPs, these Ministers, and TheresaTheUnelected, KNOW what is happening, but they turn away, scoff, laugh, ignore, lie.

May puts more thought into her SHOES than she does to We, The People, and to her fellow 1950s generation, for she was 60 a few weeks ago and she knows FULL WELL we were NEVER told about this massive increase in our pension age, for she too would NEVER have got a letter.  Yet, she lies outright, tells the public we've been given just a year/eighteen months at most. She can do this for she has no conscience about us whatsoever. A despicable woman, in my view, utterly despicable. 

Our pension age of 60 should have been HONOURED back in 1995. And, men's pension age should have been brought down to meet ours, thus helping men and freeing up millions of jobs for young people too, who would have been able to start their lives well, start their families far earlier, have HOPE.

Meanwhile, MPs give themselves £400 a month just for food alone, not even needing receipts, on top of vast salaries, with vast expenses and vast pensions, whilst The People live at Food Banks, desperate and destitute, half harrassed to death, sanctioned at will...left to die..literally, left to die...

We are truly in Marie Antoinette Times

I've been given an 18 month stay of execution, basically...but if these Traitorous Wretches are still in power by then, I will be once again be put back upon The DWP Ducking Stool and held under to within an inch of my life once more...

Rise UP, O Ye People Of Britain, against these Tyrants who have usurped True Leaders, these Traitorous Wretches who have Betrayed The People a thousand fold....A Pox Upon Them ALL and here's to a FAR better, kinder future, under a Leader who cares with his heart and soul about his People, that leader being Jeremy Corbyn.

Huge thanks to Ken Loach for getting the TRUE story of Cruel Britannia out there and please, please, go and see 'I, Daniel Blake', then fight to make Britain's Heart beat again, with Kindness and Love.

 

WITH Kindness, and Love

Lizzie  xxx

 

UPDATE 13/11/2016: 

http://evolvepolitics.com/tories-considering-forcing-disabled-people-take-part-work-related-activity/

Just when you start to feel the worst is over..........and after ALL they've put me, and so many others through, you hear that Damian Green is now thinking of making EVERYONE on ESA, no matter how sick, or how disabled, physically or mentally, face the trauma of endless Work Coach appointments throughout their entire time on ESA....I suppose until we all die from the constant, endless harrassment and traumatic anxiety..and ALL this at the age of 61 1/2 for me, my pension stolen for SIX YEARS, my age increased without proper notice, in the most heinous of ways...SIX YEARS, an unbelievable amount for anyone to bear, let alone women who are already at what they thought would be their pension age.....

These Ruthless Bastards will NOT stop.  They have NO INTEREST in what they are doing to so many people. They KNOW that thousands have already died due to their policies, yet, the continue on and on and ON.  Kicking the poor, the sick, the disabled, the unemployed, whilst they live on vast salaries, vast expenses, have given themselves vast pensions...

I DESPAIR at times, I truly do...for never has there been such evil done in my country, to my people, in my lifetime as there is now being done.

 

 

 

 

 

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Margaret Hickey 03/05/2017 13:35

I am so sad that you have been put through so much by this dreadful government! They are truly sadistic and I too detest them with every ounce of my being! To have retained your humour under these circumstances is amazing and well done Lizzie

Sarah Vernon 10/27/2016 23:20

I retire next month. Oh no, wait a minute. How could I have forgotten? I don't retire. Silly me. While reading what you've gone through is heartbreaking and no surprise whatsoever under these treacherous, murderous Tories, it's been good to laugh, for which much thanks, Lizzie.
Sarah